It’s mostly intended for Saturday when I have people coming over, but tonight I will test-drive the living room setup I have assembled: Two computers for viewing games on the web, and three televisions (one hooked up to Directv, the other two hooked to over-the-air antennae and a fervent hope of improbably good reception on Saturday, despite having no outdoor mounted apparatus). I’ll try to post a picture of the sportsbaresque living room layout later.
While I get pilloried by subliterate Notre Dame fans (scroll to the bottom) for having the audacity to pick them to lose their opening game at GaTech, I cope by knowing history may be on my side….apparently the Yellow Jackets beat Notre Dame in 1976 without throwing a pass. ‘Cause Pepper Rodgers was mad. Rodgers would go onto serve with distinction as coach of the Memphis Showboats, and I remember him from my childhood. I remember him being a bit of a quote machine, and promising his players a trip to Alco Pulco if they won a key game, which they lost.
Anyway, I suppose the 2006 update would be Georgia Tech defeating Notre Dame without attempting a running play, given how these teams match up. And I hear Chan Gailey doesn’t like…ahem…showboatin’.
Let’s try an NFL story about someone without the initials T.O. In fact, let’s try three of them.
Starting close to my home, one wonders what’s going on with Deion Branch, wide receiver for the New England Patriots. What’s he asking for? And just what are the Pats offering? As of Friday, the Patriots are offering perspective. Reports from Foxboro have Belichick and Pioli permitting Branch to seek a trade and even negotiate the terms of such a deal. The point? The Patriots are happy with Reche Caldwell, Troy Brown and their first round draft pick, Chad Jackson. What’s exceptionally interesting about this move is the Patriots’ full-blown lack of sentimentality. Branch won the Super Bowl MVP Award. He’s been a solid performer, a little injury-prone, but emerged in the last regular season as one of the Pats’ two best receivers. The other? Currently with the Tennessee Titans, David Givens (who joined the Pats in the same draft as Branch did) wanted at least #2 pay, and the Pats, well… let’s just call the Pats prudent with their money. (Or, if you’re so inclined, I suppose, you could call them cheap.)
Tennessee head coach Jeff Fisher promises that Adam Jones (I refuse to call him “Pac Man,” despite my West Virginia leanings, because Pac Man a)isn’t on his driver’s license or mug shot and b) Pac Man is a trademark owned by Namco or Midway or someone not named Adam Jones, and whoever owns the trademark should send him a cease-and-desist letter) will be suspended for a single game given his most recent brush with the law. Since being drafted sixth overall by the Titans in the ‘05 draft, Jones has managed to be arrested for his involvement in a drug distribution scheme, being involved in two nightclub scuffles, and being at a gas station that ”coincidentally” erupted into the scene of a gun battle. Fisher claims that whether or not Jones is guilty of the charges against him that he earned his single preseason game suspension because “such behavior will not be accepted.” Whatever. What Jones should be especially wary of now, though, is the league’s involvement. How many strikes are there in the NFL, anyway? I loved him as a Mountaineer (though often felt he was overhyped, and never felt the nickname fit him anyway), but one game? In the preseason? Jones should lose a month’s worth of his base salary every time someone even breathes his name in a nightclub. Especially since Jones took it upon himself to “show the ropes” to this past draft’s first round pick, Vince Young. The young man has a spotty history, and these things happen. But, someone (Deion Branch, perhaps, who continues to lose $14,400 each day he doesn’t report to the team) needs to give Jones a good slap across the face, or he’ll simply be one of those talents who “could have been.”
Earlier this week, the New York Jets finally successfully traded for a running back who might be able to stay on the field for them. Provide production? For the San Francisco 49ers, running back Kevan Barlow hasn’t provided enough to win a starting position. Subsequently, his lack of productivity made him trade bait. When the Jets came calling, head coach Mike Nolan and Niners personnel staff opted to let him go. For most guys, being traded to a place where he might have an opportunity to win a starting position would be a welcome, if surprising, bit of news. Barlow was less than pleased. He compared Nolan to Hitler, and called him a dictator on his way out of town. While Barlow realized (a little too late) that his comments were at least hyperbolic, and attempted to take them back, he confessed to speaking under extreme emotion. So, here’s my question? Why was he so pissed? Did Nolan text him to inform him of his trade? Did Nolan spit on his stuff as he boxed it up and sent it to New York? Did Nolan’s message on his cell phone inform him that he was going, but his dogs were staying in San Fran? Nolan did him a favor: he sent him to a team that currently has no starting running back. The perfect place for Barlow to finally become a starter, and he grouses about the move that sends him there. Complains about the tactics of his now former coach. Wait till he gets to New York and learns what dictatorship is all about.
Even though the police are considering getting involved, and even the hooliganesque soccer fans in the message boards I surf are calling for the thug’s head (Ben Thatcher, who has a history of brutal play), it goes without saying that the hit only got a yellow. Real classy, the face he makes at one of Mendes’ teammates coming to his aid. Pedro Mendes spent the night in the hospital and will continue to undergo tests. Thatcher’s Manchester City team dominated the match statistically but could only muster a goalless draw with Portsmouth nonetheless (road point, hurrah! Play up Pompey! Get better Pedro!)
My niece called me last night to ask for help with her homework assignment. It seems in her seventh grade World History class that the teacher is going to have the students answer several current event questions, including questions on sports.
Obviously flattered, I began answering question after question without batting an eye.
“The answer is the New York Yankees, Shelby.”
“His name is Junior Seau. That’s S-E-A-U.”
Then, I received a question that left me completely baffled.
Q: T.O. returned to practice with the Dallas Cowboys last week, after missing part of the preseason because of a hamstring injury. What is T.O.?
A: What the hell kind of question is that?
He’s a man. He’s an athlete. He’s a Dallas Cowboy. He’s a wide receiver. He’s an asshole.
He’s many things.
Aren’t all of those things correct? Or is her World History teacher one of those self-righteous educators like the Creative Writing teacher I had in high school who would always give me a low-grade and tell me that my work “just wasn’t creative enough.”
Honestly, who knighted this guy as the king of all that is creativity? He’s the type of guy who believes Two and A Half Men deserves to win the Emmy this Sunday for Outstanding Comedy Series.
And I would never want to associate with that kind of creative and unorthodox thinking (although I am sure this piece of writing would have graded low on the creative scale, considering I have already used the word “aren’t,” began a scentence with “And,” and made an uninformed reference to knighting my teacher as a king since someone who is actually knighted is a lieutenant of a king).
Moving on, what does this say about America’s education system when these are the type of questions being fielded by seventh graders in a World History class?
Man, this one time, my friend told me he was hooking me up on a blind date with the hottest girl he’d ever seen. I was so pumped. Then I showed up for the date and she was 240 pounds. With facial hair. And a schlong.
And that still wasn’t as big of a letdown as the Kansas City Royals scoring 10 runs in the first inning only to blow the game.
Last night I dreamt that I got invited to go watch a day of sports at ESPN HQ in Bristol, Connecticut. We invitees were directed into a conference room with just one television, but this television was hooked up to every dish, link, package, and circuit imagineable to bring in as many sporting events as possible.So it was a festive atmosphere. No one knew anyone, but it still took on the fun vibe of watching a game with your friends. We all came armed to the teeth with snacks, drinks, beer and weed, although the latter two were prohibited.
Occasionally, ESPN anchors (I remember Trey Wingo and Neil Everett) would come in and basically sweep the room and try to clear out the rifraff and confiscate the contraband. We would hear them coming and hastily hide our beer and crush out our joints, but a couple of us would get busted and thrown out each time. This would always be accompanied by the evicting anchor giving a sanctimonious speech worthy of your high school vice-principal. (“It is a privilege to be invited here, not a right…”)
They would leave and we would congratulate ourselves on slipping under the radar, and bring back the booze and bud from hiding.
I don’t know who was controlling the remote, but amazingly, I do remember a couple of the games they flipped to, including the scores. There was the end of a CFL game between Montreal and Toronto, where a failed onside kick by the Argonauts wrapped up the 11-3 Montreal win (this is a stark contrast to the real life result between these two teams this past weekend)
Then it was an NBA game, also very deep in the fourth quarter. Spurs vs. Knicks. The Knicks were winning, 105-99, and the commentator said, “The Knicks are going for blood.” Bizarre that I can even remember an announcer’s phrase. Pretty vivid dream, I guess.
Then my alarm started going off, so I didn’t get to “see” if the Knicks hung on.
Filing this under the “NSS” department, ESPN will now have a 5-second delay on their Little League World Series broadcasts. This comes in response after a player for the Stephan Island, NY team dropped on F-bomb during the game on Sunday night’s live telecast. The coach, in turn, smacked the player for the slip of the tounge.
Both the player and the coach were reprimanded, although it is not known if the player was forced to wash his mouth out with soap, like my dad used to do to me.
In other news relevant to this story, the sky is still officially blue and Rosie O’Donnell is still a fat, annyoing, human blob.
Why are people so up in arms about this? The kid is 12 years old. We should be lucky he’s not a father of two with a 2-pack a day smoking habit. And why wasn’t there a delay on the thing anyway? Have you ever listened to a little league game in person? There’s more profanity there than a strip joint, and probably better looking girls…er…moms.
“[Cardinals starter Mark] Mulder wouldn’t even make my team. He couldn’t start for us, and he’s not better than [Neal] Cotts or [Matt] Thornton in our bullpen.“
-Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen
It’s enthralling to watch Ozzie Guillen slowly but surely tie the rope, put his neck through it and throw it over a tree. We’re officially one losing season from watching him kick the chair out.
But you have to feel for Mark Mulder. The poor guy is sitting at home, watching his contract year go up in smoke and now he’s got managers taking unprovoked pot shots at him.
The English Premier League had its full opening weekend, but with all the scandal surrounding Italy’s Serie A, I think we need to suspend the remainder of the EPL season just to fully vet it and be absolutely sure it’s corruption-free, although the results from week 1 should stand.
It was nice to watch them beat up on Blackburn 3-0, though. Some of (manager) Harry Reddknapp’s comments just prior to the season indicate that although money is available (isn’t it always allegedly available, for most teams in most countries for most sports), the offseason didn’t yield the crop Redknapp was looking for as Pompey lost out on some bidding wars. He says they are about four players short of being where he wants them to be, and to batten down the hatches for yet another relegation fight.
But, I don’t know. The five players that were brought in this offseason have an interesting pedigree, including two players, David James and Sol Campbell, who play on the English National Team (albeit mostly on the bench and perhaps headed towards the twilight of their careers). And Kanu? Wow. Maybe he just needed a change of scenery. Should’ve been a hat-trick but he missed a penalty kick. And James got the clean sheet.
All-around, you have to feel good when you’re team dominates its opener against a team predicted to finish higher. I’m looking forward to the season. I don’t think it will be a relegation fight.
Looks like business as usual at the other end of the table, though. Four goals in the first 19 minutes? Aychiwawa.
Posted by kevinbeane 
Posted by kevinbeane 
Posted by mountaineerdave 